There is no intention of wanting to be ordained as a super hero mama, anyway, but in fact,most parents of children with special needs (whatever their needs) have more challenges than the challenges of non-inclusive children’s parents. Starting from parenting, choosing a school, to activity options plus therapy. So more or less, life lessons from parents of children with special needs can be taken and applied in parenting children.
Don’t let your child rely too much on your parents.
It’s not a parent’s job to always make life easier for children. The most crucial thing is to prepare children to survive when facing difficult things. In this case, prepare the child to have high fighting power. Teaching them to be independent is the same as teaching them to keep growing and growing, but there are times when they have to get out of their comfort zone.
Just one small example, when mommies want to teach a child a new life skill, such as tying shoes, buttoning clothes, or turning on the stove, do these 4 steps:
- Show your child how to do it.
- Do it together
- Watch when he does.
- Let him do it independently.
This is also often done by parents of children with special needs. A mother named Amanda Booth from the United States, apply the 4 methods above in preparing Micah,her son who has Down syndrome. He made a similar approach to his 2-year-old son, Micah. “Every time I saw that he needed less of my help, I backed off and let him try, even though at first he always failed. That was the only way to make him think he could do something. I stress to him (and myself) that he has to train and keep training until he can do it himself.”
Sincerely accepting a child can’t always be what you expect
For parents with special needs, many things must then be compromised, including compromising on their own expectations. What used to be so many dreams and hopes for the little one, slowly sorted, or even replaced with other hopes. So that the thing that can probably be learned from them is, sincerely accept that the child can not always be what we expect.
There are children who are not interested at all in things that smell academic, even though the hope of mommies he continues the profession of doctors later, like his parents. There are also children who are less articulate, and introverted. While we hope otherwise. And he is diligent and persistent. Insisting on forcing children to grow and develop as we expect can make them feel unloved. He could have spent his life just to fill our hopes, not his own.
Slow down when needed is not a sin
All the routines of parents of children with special needs are really chaos. Among the busy daily activities, from school, therapy, to the doctor, and other tasks that must be done such as determining the menu (if the abk has abstinence), preparing food not only for the abk, but also other family members, can be stressful, panicked, hasty, and worst of all, irritable. Not that parents of non-inclusive children aren’t chaos either, yes. For that, slowing down is necessary. Slowing down the rhythm of life doesn’t mean mommies aren’t responsible, really. It was necessary for the sane mommies to come back. By slowing down, mommies can be introspective and reevaluate what has been done so far. Whether it’s too much in response to the little one spilling milk at the table, or whether the activities given to the child are too much. It’s easier to see something if you’re not in a hurry. yes, right?
Stop obsessing about what others think
Duh, bener, deh. Being a parent of a special needs child, when getting together, whether it’s a big family get-together, or a fellow mom, is more commented on than supported, hahaha… It’s understandable that they don’t understand either, yes. It’s not only the way we treat our children that we question, but also the decisions we make. If listened to and made into a mind even makes more dizzy. All they have is a comment yes, solutive no. What do you think? The one who faces the kids every day is us. Yes, if she can help babysit every day, help pay for therapy costs, to take care of them during tantrums, your advices are very welcome. But if not, it should not be used as a long thought. Just listen to the doctors, psychologists, and pediatric therapists, if I am, anyway. Hahahaha……