Parenting under parents who do not have emotional maturity will harm the growth and development of children. Recognize the signs before making a negative impact on the Little One.
Emotional maturity doesn’t come easily. Many have trouble getting it even when they’re adults. Yes, emotional maturity is not just a matter of getting older. It involves several things, including how we accept criticism, realize our advantages and disadvantages, empathize with others, and strengthen ourselves in the face of life’s problems.
Having emotional maturity is closely related to one’s character and how it affects relationships with others. Emotionally immature parents can harm a child’s psyche in a variety of ways. Children of parents like this will have difficulty knowing love, identity, and confidence. Some children will even repeat the same pattern as their parents and don’t have good emotional maturity.
To avoid it early on, recognize 7 signs of parents who do not have emotional maturity:
1. Insensitive to his child’s feelings
Emotionally immature parents usually find it difficult to empathize with their child’s feelings. They have difficulty understanding problems from the child’s point of view because they are too focused on themselves.
This type of parent also never asks the child for all the decisions he takes. Or ask how the fruit of the day feels about it. Emotionally immature parents hope their child will be happy with all the steps he takes because he feels it’s “the best” for the Little One.
2. Often spilling annoyance to the child
Another sign is that they have difficulty regulating their emotions and often spill their anger and frustration to children. This type of parent is also defensive, irritable, easily disappointed, and impatient. Because they don’t have emotional maturity yet, they don’t know how to control their feelings.
Children with emotionally immature parents will feel walking on thin glass. They are always afraid of disappointing and scolding their parents.
Conversely, parents who have emotional maturity know how to control their feelings so that they are calmer, rational, and can be invited to discussion.
3. Asking too much from the child
Acceptance is part of emotional maturity. Therefore, those who do not have it, will always feel less. In the end, parents with emotional immaturity often demand excessive things from their children. They will use the phrase “this is all for your good” or “mom/dad just wants to see you succeed” as a mainstay.
In fact, emotionally mature parents will focus more on effort than results. They don’t need their children to be the smartest, most beautiful, or most popular, to be loved.
4. Easy to blame others
A person can only be said to be an adult if he is responsible for all his actions and choices that have been made. However, emotionally immature parents tend to blame others for all the things that don’t go according to plan.
5. Not realizing your own shortcomings
No human being is perfect and not everyone has an answer to life’s problems. However, parents who lack emotional maturity will think they are always right and the child should follow what is being said. They often judge children’s decisions, are closed-minded, and unaware of their own shortcomings.
This type of parent is so blinded by their self-esteem and ego that they want their child to remain obedient and loyal without hesitation. They don’t have the emotional maturity to see that they could be wrong.
6. Control the child
Another sign of emotionally immature parents is that they tend to be rigid, stubborn, and arrogant. They have their own values and ideals that are expected to be followed by their children. Fathers and mothers like this do not allow children to argue with the choices they make.
Children under this parenting pattern usually grow into a reclusive person and always need validation from their parents. They will do anything to please their parents and so don’t know what they really want themselves to do.
7. Low tolerance to stress
It feels like we agree that emotional maturity is characterized by a person’s ability to adapt to the environment or problems he or she faces. Therefore, those who are emotionally immature, tolerance to stress is very low. They can’t cope well when things don’t go as expected.
Every child deserves a parent who is caring, attentive and compassionate, and emotionally mature. Parents who have reliable emotional maturity, are always supportive, warm, open, respectful, and empathetic to their children. They accept the Little One for who they are and let him be who they are.
Although it seems difficult to be such a perfect parent, but at least Mommies and Daddies can work on it so that the child grows up well. Both physically and emotionally.
Becoming a parent—especially for the first time—isn’t easy. There are many worries and fears about this new life. The results of the Polytechnic Midwifery Study survey showed that there were 42.9% of pregnant women in the 3rd trimester who experienced mild to severe anxiety. This happens because they are worried about the well-being of themselves and the fetus, the process of childbirth, life after childbirth and changing roles of motherhood.
Yes, there are physical and mental changes that make new parents sometimes overwhelmed. Not to mention, because it’s the first time facing this world, sometimes we are clueless with what to do next. If we are not careful, we can also get caught up in myths and incorrect information related to taking care of children and families.